Monty Python
- The Holy Hand Grenade
The Book of Armaments, Chapter One, Verses Nine through twenty-seven. "And Saint Attila raised the holy hand grenade up on high, saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats.
Monty Python
- That Rabbit's Dynamite
Follow! But! Follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.
Monty Python
- Constitutional Peasant
Listen. Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
