Vsauce
- We're glad you're there
By considering average life expectancy and the typical number of jokes a person hears in a year: If you are under the age of 38, odds are the funniest joke you will ever hear is a joke you haven't even heard yet. And if you are over the age of 38, odds are you already know a joke that, to more people than you could possibly meet, might be the funniest joke they will ever hear. So wherever you are, we're glad you're there.
Ichibudo
- Feng Shui
The layout of my room is fairly straightforward, which is actually a bad thing. Since my room is small it limits my bed and table placement. You walk in and immediately see the bed facing the mirror of my closet, which is fixed, it is immovable. Next to my bed is my table. The head of my bed is directly to the window and beside my bed is another window. Now you're probably thinking, isn't it bad? Yes I searched online and I will probably have 10 years of bad luck now (that's a joke)
Dar Williams
- End of Summer
Summer ends and we wonder where you are, and there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car. You both look so young, and last night was hard. You said you packed up every room and then you cried and went to bed. But today you closed the door and said you have to get a move on. It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead. We push ourselves ahead.
Madeline Miller
- As the poets say
Achilles' eyes were bright in the firelight, his face drawn sharply by the flickering shadows. I would know is in dark or disguise, told myself. I would know it even in madness.
Live (the band)
- Hold me Up
Hold me up, in the palm of your hand. Lying to you is a river of sin. Your metaphors, your silent calls, your feelings are too real. Let them spew, a fall from grace would do us good today. I'll lift you up, we can love or cry. Hey, I'm in love, I'll take you up again.
Philip Quast - Les Miserables
- Stars
Stars, in your multitudes. Scarce to be counted, filling the darkness with order and light. You are the sentinels, silent and sure. Keeping watch in the night. Keeping watch in the night. You know your place in the sky. You hold your course and your aim. And each in your season returns and returns, and is always the same. And if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames!
Thomas Gray
- Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard
The curfew tolls the knell of parting day, the lowing herd wind slowly o'er the lea, the plowman homeward plods his weary way, and leaves the world to darkness and to me.
The Beatles
- Strawberry Fields forever
Living is easy with eyes closed. Misunderstanding all you see. It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out. It doesn't matter much to me. Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real. And nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever.
RightClickMan
- Workspace Typing Hack
I do not use typing tests at any other time than when I am at work. They have the use of making me look busy at my retail jobs when there is a customer in store, one of my coworkers are handling them, and I need to look busy at my desk. The intense stare coming off of my face combined with the flurry of finger-ticking action will sell coworkers and customers alike that I am busy.
Tomorrow - BTS
There's a long way to go, but why am I standing in place? Although I scream out in frustration, all it is, is an echo in the void. Let tomorrow be different from today. That's all I'm begging for. Follow your dream, even if you break. Follow your dream even if it crumbles. Don't run backwards, never. Because the dawn just before sunrise is the darkest. Even in the far future, don't ever forget the you of right now. No matter where you're standing right now, don't give up.
Pauline
I regret to inform you that replying "skill issue" to something that cannot in fact be a skill issue is the most hilarious joke in the history of comedy. Born in the wrong year? Skill issue. Haven't seen a unicorn? Skill issue.
rashedammb
- Linux
As a Linux User, I would recommend Windows to everyone because Linux is not for everyone. It is hard to learn; not too much advantages for a normal user.
Suites
- Jack Story
Louis, have you ever heard of a jack story? A man gets a flat tire on a country road. He sees a house in the distance. He walks up to the house, and along the way, he starts thinking, "What if they don't have a jack? What if they have a jack, but they want to charge me for it, and if they do, how much would they charge? $100, $200, $1,000? That's bullshit." So by the time the man gets to the house, rings the doorbell, and they answer the door, he tells them, "Keep your jack!"
Wikipedia
- Don't stuff beans up your nose
The little boy's mother was going off to the market. She worried about her son, who was always up to some mischief. She sternly admonished him, "Be good. Don't get into trouble. Don't eat all the chocolate. Don't spill all the milk. Don't throw stones at the cow. Don't fall down the well." The boy had done all of these things on previous market days. Hoping to head off new trouble, she added, "And don't stuff beans up your nose!" This was a new idea for the boy, who promptly tried it out.
Wikipedia
- Death from laughter
Death from laughter is a supposedly extremely rare form of death, usually resulting from either cardiac arrest or asphyxiation, that has itself been caused by a fit of laughter. Instances of death by laughter have been recorded from the times of ancient Greece to modern times. Usually, the phrase "dying from laughter" is used as a hyperbole.
Lucy Hodgson.
- I sit here for you.
So now I sit here for you every year, John. Like the fool I am, reminiscing every memory I have with you in it. And I regret, sometimes I chuckle, and very often, I cry. But if I'm going to waste my tears, I'm confident in wasting them on you. I'm sorry for not being there when you were so clearly struggling. I'm sorry for wasting precious days because we argued, or fell out, or 'grew up'. I'm sorry for never telling you how much I really do love you. I cannot put into words how sorry I am.
Robert California
- The Office
I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on. You're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the f--ing Lizard King.
Lucy Zhang
- The Horse Of My Lifetime
Like in a movie, the trailer will drive off into the sunset and I'll be left hoping that Castle knows how much he has changed my life for the better, how much I'll miss him, and how much I never wanted this to happen. Days of melancholy will come, but I'll soon realise that it was for the best. I'll continue to grow as a rider, and Castle no doubt, go on to make another kid as happy as he made me. To the horse of my lifetime, I'd like to give my endless thank you's.
Mike Patton
- Inspiration
I got one entire song from fortune cookies. On another one, I took words from different Frank Sinatra songs and pasted them together. Another one, I was just driving around and there was a piece of paper on the ground, so I stole it.
