D.H. Lawrence - Sons and Lovers

This quote a été ajouté par malevolarky
She went indoors, wondering if things were never going to alter. She was beginning by now to realize that they would not. She seemed so far away from her girlhood; she wondered if it were the same person walking heavily up the back garden at the Bottoms, as had run so lightly up the break water at Sheerness ten years before.

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malevolarky 11 années, 2 mois avant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D._H._Lawrence

I think we should let his creative decisions stand.
carolinagirl_46382 11 années, 2 mois avant
much much too wordy; uses passive voice ineffectively; run-on sentence; lastly, if backgarden is one word, why isn't breakwater? or is it a colloquialism, of sort? sorry, cannot help but mention the use of "never;" it seems... "ever" more fitting. thank you for your attention to these issues.

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