I always cry on my birthday. The first time was on my tenth birthday and instead of the usual feeling of excitement I always felt, I felt this overwhelming feeling of anxiety and panic. It wasn't because I didn't get what I wanted or because I was getting older. It was the realization that, even though I was getting older, I wasn't growing like how I thought I should mentally or academically. Eight years later, and I still feel the same. I've gotten older. Just haven't grown.