I wonder if the life I am leading is a dream or a reality. I feel far away from everything and everybody, ever so far away, and I feel as if all the adventures which succeed on another incessantly were unfolding themselves like a play in a theater - and I, miles and miles away, watching. For a long time tonight I have stood absolutely still, lost in an odd introspection, watching with an inward eye the progress of these years in our life.