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Paulo Coelho
Each of us has our own universe within ourselves. We're never going to be able …

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Don't worry, I got a 35% on my MATH 100 midterm a month ago, and …

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Elias
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Paulo Coelho
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Douglas Adams - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
All this lay in the planet's remote past. It was, however, a descendant of one of these eccentric poets who invented the spurious tales of impending doom which enabled the people of Golgafrincham to rid themselves of an entire useless third of their population. The other two-thirds stayed firmly at home and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone.

Terry Pratchett
I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.