Recent comments

Anonymous
so... you cheated on him

William Chapman
Thank you, for this quote. I appreciate it very much.

Candace Owens
It's a method that is used to silent those who don't want to hear it. …

Khaldoon Khalid
Very relatable, especially at 23 as I'm finishing up my last week of undergrad this …

Michael Sugrue
Yeah, that's great and all. But here's a reminder that you can praise God up …

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certifieddoc's quotes

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Fat Bastard - Not Happy
Of course I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob! I've got bigger titties than you do! I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare legally dead! I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy because I eat... It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I have to get in touch with and forgive: myself.

George Washington - Government
Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.

Doctor Evil - My Parents
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of... general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.