anonymous
- puns
Are we having pun yet? It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. Oh, what a cruel and unusual pun is meant.
Ron Burgundy
- From Anchorman
I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it.
Ricky Bobby
- Saying grace
Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.
Ricky Bobby
You sick, sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs... all fat and cocky and lookin at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt.
Donnie Darko
"A storm is coming," Frank says. "A storm that will swallow the children." And I will deliver them from the kingdom of Bane. I'll deliver the children back to their doorsteps. I'll send the monsters back to the underground. I'll send them back to a place where no one else can see them except for me, cause I am Donnie Darko.
Karren Pommeroy (to Donnie)
- From Donnie Darko
This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that "cellar door" is the most beautiful.
Donnie Darko
You know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're the only animals that aren't horny. And if you're cute and you're not horny, then you're probably happy that you know who you are or why you're even alive. You just don't wanna have sex as many times as possible before you die. I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit, you know, who never even feared death to begin with.
Donnie Darko
- smurfs
First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living, if you don't have a dick?
Grant Mazzy
- from Pontypool
Street names and birthdates and middle names, all kind of superfluous things appear related to each other. It's a ripple effect. So, what does it mean? Well... it means something's going to happen. Something big. But then, something's always about to happen.
Ryan C.
- Only way to live
I need not religion, for religion is nothing but archaic words and practices. I need not faith, for faith is nothing but misguided trust in things for which there is no evidence. I need not god, for god is nothing more than the simplest solution to the most complex question. It's not something I'd recommend, but it is one way to live.
aranumenwen
- DA Journal
Soon I'll be so far gone, even you'll forget where I started. A dismal hypothesis formed from pure experience and foresight. Inevitable even, shame on us. Actions, consequences, or an unyielding existence lacking the sweet presumptions of either rapture or surrender. Ominous to both the mind and the body.
Dean Winchester
- Supernatural Quotes
You don't take a joint from a guy named John and no dogs in the car! I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot. Good, no reason to look a gift horse in the microscope... I hope your apple pie was freaking worth it! There's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams and they shoot rainbows out of their ass! I'd like to think it's because of my perky nipples. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.
Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)
- I think you should know.
You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown, some homeless people, an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and someone else I can't remember, maybe a model, but she's dead too. I killed Paul Allen with an ax in the face.
