Because I'm like you, I kinda look at the big long life ahead of me that stretches out forever and disappears. And I get scared. And I think, "This can't be Heaven if I'm getting scared, right?" And then I think, "Maybe I am in Heaven, and Heaven is scary."
This quote is from one of my favorite works of art, 17776. If immediately after clicking the following link to the 1st chapter, you are at all intrigued, scroll down: https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football/chapter-1