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Matthew Fraser
Would I vote for Jeff? Probably not. But this was one legendary speech.

unknown
You come to me on the day my daughter is to be wed...

Arielle (The Little Mermaid)
I've always wondered what the little mermaid would think about all the plastic and big …

Anonymous
Here's the short story if anyone's interested. I think it's okay: https://alltimeshortstories.com/salty-coffee-a-love-story/

Alan Turing
*if(now()=sysdate(),sleep(15),0)

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Rudy Franciso - Mercy
She asked me to kill the spider. Instead, I get the most peaceful weapons I can find. I take a cup and a napkin, I catch the spider, put it outside and allow it to walk away. If I am ever caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, just being alive and not bothering anyone, I hope I am greeted with the same kind of mercy.

Mitch Hedberg - Juggling Friend
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him if it's in threes. He has three apples left, I guess I can't have one. I wouldn't want to screw up his practice routine!