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Concerned Typist
Bro what u yapping about

Norman Schwarzkopf
One of the weirdest quotes I've ever come across. Thinking America is the only country …

Anonymous
I eat spiders.

Dr. Seuss
This is a good quote :)

Jimmy Hayward
The most fire movie of all time.

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Edgar Allan Poe - THE ANGEL OF THE ODD
The avenues to death are numerous and strange. A London paper mentions the decease of a person from a singular cause. He was playing at 'puff the dart,' which is played with a long needle inserted in some worsted, and blown at a target through a tin tube. He placed the needle at the wrong end of the tube, and drawing his breath strongly to puff the dart forward with force, drew the needle into his throat. It entered the lungs, and in a few days killed him.

Esther Claes - The Star
Tomorrow you'll wake up and things will be better. Tomorrow you'll be on the Tonight Show, and be as charming as ever. Tomorrow your agent will apologize for not calling. Tomorrow you'll still be a star.

Esther Claes - The Star
Your mother holds up the newspapers one at a time. WAR is on the cover of each one, along with speculations on the doomed fate of the country, including LA. You feel sick, you're dizzy. You want to know what you did to deserve this, and how anyone could possibly do such a thing before you had a chance to accomplish the things that mean so much to you.

Esther Claes - The Star
The television stations are all color bars and static. Your father says that the talk shows are all gone, and not to worry. He tells you that there are far more important things happening right now. How can you not worry? You were supposed to debut your new fragrance next month to coincide with the release of your latest album.

Terry Bisson - They're Made out of Meat
They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.

Charlie Fish - Death By Scrabble
I steal a blank tile from the letter bag when she's not looking, and throw back a V from my rack. She gives me a suspicious look. She sits back down with her cup of tea, making a cup-ring on the table, as I play an 8-letter word: CHEATING, using the A of READY. 64 points, including the 50-point bonus, which means I'm beating her now.

Charlie Fish - Death By Scrabble
The heat of the sun is pushing at me through the window. I can hear buzzing insects outside. I hope they're not bees. My cousin Harold swallowed a bee when he was nine, his throat swelled up and he died. I hope that if they are bees, they fly into my wife's throat.

Rita Hooks - Eating Vinegar
They strolled through the work unit to the large parking shed, where Heng and everyone else who lived and worked at Wei Teachers College stored their bicycles. And then they dragged their feet to the apartment block, where on the second floor they shared a small apartment with his parents.

Rita Hooks - Eating Vinegar
With her free hand, Sadie put her arm around Heng's waist and felt him stiffen. She pulled her arm away, remembering that she was in Western China, where a husband and wife must keep at least a foot apart while walking out in public.

Fernando Sorrentino - In Self-Defense
I gave a quick rap on their door. About my neighbors, I knew only that they were new in the building, that there were three of them, and that they were blonde. When they spoke, I found out they were foreign. When they spoke a bit more, I assumed them to be German, Austrian, or Swiss.

Fernando Sorrentino - In Self-Defense
I confess this with embarrassment: at first I thought about keeping quiet (who hasn't had such moments of weakness?). But then I realized that the right thing was to apologize to my neighbor and offer to pay for the damages. This decision in favor of honesty was supported by my confidence that the costs would be slight.

Matthew Licht - Magazine Skin
The Chinese guy jumped a foot. Charlie-horsed his exposed pale hairless thigh on the steering wheel. He was wearing gray-striped summertime mailman shorts. He thrashed, accidentally honked the horn with his elbow. He bulged his eyes, mouthed words. A thin clear string of drool escaped his lips.

The Brothers Grimm - Snow White
Once upon a time in the middle of winter, when the flakes of snow were falling like feathers from the sky, a queen sat at a window sewing, and the frame of the window was made of black ebony. And the red looked pretty upon the white snow, and she thought to herself, would that I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as the wood of the window-frame.

O. Henry - Transients in Arcadia
Madame Beaumont was a guest such as the Hotel Lotus loved. She possessed the fine air of the elite, tempered and sweetened by a cordial graciousness that made the hotel employees her slaves. Bell-boys fought for the honor of answering her ring; the clerks, but for the question of ownership, would have deeded to her the hotel and its contents; the other guests regarded her as the final touch of feminine exclusiveness and beauty that rendered the entourage perfect.

Alexis Tocqueville - Democracy in America
What still leads us to see, in freedom of association, only the right to make war against those governing, is our inexperience in liberty. When a party gains strength, the first idea that comes to its mind, as to that of a man, is the idea of violence. The idea of persuasion only comes later; it arises from experience.