I know that I don't matter to you enough for you to care. And I know that I care about you more than you'll probably ever care about me. I know and it hurts a lot. This isn't your fault but it rubs salt in an already sore wound. It knocks me down and makes me remember that that isn't for me. At least not right now. The love, the affection, the shy glances, the hope. All of it, it's not for me. Not yet.