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J.K. Rowling
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Wikipedia
Dude as I was typing this quote I was changing my posture and carpal tunnel …

Made Up On The Spot
Riddled with errors.

Ricardo Aguilera
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Serita McKenzie
it was good

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Mitch Hedberg - Receipt for Donut
I bought a donut and they gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for a donut, I just give you the money, you give me the donut... end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a scenario when I'd have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend... don't even act like I didn't get that donut, I got the documentation right here! Oh wait it's back home in the file under "D" for donut.