Ladies and gentiles, Romans and reptiles, cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants, I stand here before, directly behind you to tell you a story I know nothing about. One bright morning in the middle of the night, two men got up to fight. They stood back-to-back and faced each other; drew their swords and shot each other. "You can believe me," said the blind man to his deaf dog, "I saw it with my own eyes."