The conversation
Von charismatic - aktualisiert: 6 Jahre, 8 Monate vor - 7 messages
One day a student asks a teacher, “Why do people marry a different person than they are in love with?” The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the best wheat and come back. But the rule is that you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the field, went through the first row, he saw one big wheat which he instantly liked, but he wondered if maybe there was a bigger one further. Then he saw another bigger one, but again he thought that maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realize that the wheat was not as big as the ones he let go of. Then he started to realize that he had missed the best one in the search of a bigger. So, he ended up going back to the teacher with an empty hand because he just wasn’t able to forgive himself for letting go of the best wheat and described what happened. The teacher told him, “You kept looking for a better one while letting go of the best one and later when you realize that you have missed, you can’t go back. This is the mistake often made by people who fall in love and they lose the best person they could have had in their life.” So, the student said, “Does that mean, one should never fall in love?” The teacher replied, “No Dear, anyone can fall in love if they find a suitable person. But, once you truly fall in love, you must never let go of that person due to your anger, ego or comparisons with others.” “I still don't understand how do they end up marrying someone?” the student asked. The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is same as before, you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the corn field, this time he was careful to not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached to the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt satisfied with and went back to the teacher. He described how he made a choice. The teacher told him, “This time you didn’t came empty handed. You looked for one that is just nice, and you had put your faith that this is the best one you can get. This is how one makes a choice for marriage.” The student stood confused. The teacher asked, “What is bothering you now?” The student replied, “I am wondering which would have been better, marrying a person you love or loving the person you marry?” The teacher replied, “It’s a very easy answer, only if you are willing to admit it to yourself”. Moral: Choose wisely else you may have to spend your life wondering, what if.. As long as you stay true to yourself and honest, you can’t go wrong with any of these two choices.
It is truly false. Biologically we are programmed to love/like a person who is what we are not. Dreamers will marry realist (Modern family) misers will marry spendthrifts, introverts to extroverts so on and so forth. If you put a gun (no looking back as was on field you will always choose someone and question your whole life) but if you are tricked to think that it was your own decision no external influence of any sorts, you will most likely to work on your relationships . Because yes, all relationships need work and things you love most about someone will become annoying.
By n980 - posted: 6 Jahre, 11 Monate vor
That was a good story to illustrate making choices in love. I'll be looking back on this over time. Thanks.
By user610586 - posted: 6 Jahre, 10 Monate vor
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By memestealer - posted: 6 Jahre, 10 Monate vor
Beautiful metaphor.
By awahal - posted: 6 Jahre, 10 Monate vor
It is truly false. Biologically we are programmed to love/like a person who is what we are not. Dreamers will marry realist (Modern family) misers will marry spendthrifts, introverts to extroverts so on and so forth. If you put a gun (no looking back as was on field you will always choose someone and question your whole life) but if you are tricked to think that it was your own decision no external influence of any sorts, you will most likely to work on your relationships . Because yes, all relationships need work and things you love most about someone will become annoying.
By thecoolfox - posted: 6 Jahre, 10 Monate vor
So... what was the answer? XD Is it just what we decide the answer is? Lol, I wish the teacher answered the last thing directly.
By gtagysun - posted: 6 Jahre, 8 Monate vor
Nice! clap clap
By aremis - posted: 6 Jahre, 8 Monate vor
That's the thing with stories like this, they're created to teach something, often sometimes too complex for simple instruction. So read it a few times, think about it when you want, maybe make a hypothesis, maybe do some studying of this concept from other sources. Then come back, read it again, and decide what you think it means. Then come back every so often and compare your answer to what you've learned in the meantime. Repeat ad infinitum. When your last answer feels consistently true, you've either found the correct answer (according to the author) or else what your psychology has replaced the correct answer with. Hopefully you can see the difference. :)
